FCAT...A Eulogy

It is with great sorrow and a heavy heart that I am here today to speak in remembrance of a wonderful and esteemed examination, the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test.  FCAT, since 1998, you have graciously provided a fair and effective method for measuring our student’s mastery of the NGSSS standards.  Students, parents, and teachers from every corner of the state have adored you for many years, and their sadness in your passing has been overwhelming. 

Okay…who am I kidding here? Let’s be real.  FCAT, I believe that I can speak for every parent, every student, and every school staff member in the great state of Florida when I say…GOOD RIDDANCE, HALLELUJAH, and IT’S ABOUT TIME! I don’t know whether I should perform an interpretive dance to “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang while adorning my classroom with balloons and streamers, or sing songs of happiness in the school parking lot as I wave a sign back and forth expressing what I really think about you.  The thought that I never have to utter your name again to my poor, unfortunate students fills me with such joy that it’s impossible for me to express with words.  I know that you will most likely be replaced with a test that is equally if not more smothering than you are, but let’s just focus on the present right now…you are officially gone.  On a more serious note, the purpose of this eulogy is not to make jokes, or to list your many accomplishments and achievements (are there any?).  The purpose of this eulogy is to remember and reflect upon the definitive and lasting impression that you’ve made on myself, and on us all.   

Where do I even begin? One of the things that you will be remembered most for is placing fear, stress, and disdain into the hearts and minds of our children.  The fact that a third grader knows that their grade advancement depends on their performance on one test, on one day, is so disheartening.  We should be teaching our children to love and cherish learning, and you have done a wonderful job of smashing that belief into a million pieces like broken glass.  I know that all of the state leaders, and politicians somehow decided that you were the right choice to measure student performance, which blows my mind considering that the majority of them haven’t stepped foot in a public classroom since high school, but they aren’t the ones who’ve had to stand there year after year watching the frustrated and defeated looks on their kid’s faces when they realize they hadn’t passed…again.  They aren’t the ones who have waded through grueling practice tests with students as they try to answer questions that encourage you to find the “best answer,” and not the “right answer.”  You’re such a jokester, FCAT! You’ll always be remembered for your many, many questions that didn’t make any sense and were designed to purposefully trick kids into choosing the wrong answer.  Kudos to you!

Man, FCAT, you really know how to go out with a bang! The past three years were by far your most disorganized, stressful years yet.  Not only have we been forced to endure the pressure and accountability already associated with your madness, but then those lovely politicians in the Education Department decided to pay a big-wig company, who will remain nameless, to put you ONLINE.  It’s so wonderful that this version of yourself is the one that we will have ingrained in our memories for all of eternity.  My school was utter chaos the last two weeks, and I know we aren’t alone.  I’m not sure if people were actually aware of the impact you had in real classrooms state wide.  As if our students weren’t stressed out enough, they had to deal with the CBT (Computer Based Test) kicking them off every few minutes.  Our ESE students are the ones who have the most pressure on them.  Many of them haven’t passed yet, and they have several accommodations that require extra time, silence, and additional technology.  A group of our ESE students at one point had five adults in the room trying to fix technical issues, and due to the interruptions, many of them were misbehaving since their tests kept malfunctioning.  They were re-started multiple times, and call me crazy, but I’ll bet my paycheck that those kids don’t pass…again.  How can we expect them to?  Nobody could concentrate in conditions like those, and the worst part is that this was happening all over the state.  Don’t worry FCAT, your scores will still be counted towards school grades, will still determine whether a kid moves to fourth grade or graduates high school, and will still be tied to teacher performance.  It’s totally fair and accurate.  In my opinion, every test score from this year that was administered on the computer should be invalidated.  There is no way humanly possible that they can be counted as an accurate representation of what our students are capable of.  Way to drop the ball.

FCAT, for so long you have been the very core of education in the state of Florida.  Every lesson, every activity, and every assignment before April were created with you in mind.  You have to be proud of yourself for coining the phrase, “teaching to the test.” I honestly don’t know what we are going to do now that you are gone! Will we finally be able to create engaging lessons that center around what the students NEED to learn versus what the test says they HAVE to learn?  Will we finally be able to let our students read text that interests them and makes them love reading again instead of bore them to tears?  The sad part is that the answer to these questions is no.  I’m sure that you will simply be replaced with yet another test, created by yet another corporate company instead of actual educators, that keeps the educational system centered on politics and a false sense of reality regarding student performance.  The truth is, FCAT, you were never a true representation of student performance.  I think it’s absolutely ludicrous that we base a student or school’s performance on one single test.  There has to be a better way.  You know what, there IS a better way, and I’m not going to stop trying until I do everything in my power to find a more efficient, and fair method to measuring how children perform in school.  That may not be a whole lot at first, but it starts with one person, and now that you have been eliminated, I am one step closer. 

This week, all across the state of Florida, students will be breathing deep sighs of relief.  They will feel at ease knowing that they have conquered you one last and final time.  We don’t even need to tell them that another brainwashing test will come along next year to continue to try to mold them into anxious, depressed little versions of themselves.  We’ll let them revel in the fact that despite your many attempts to knock them down each year, they once again prevailed, and they can say goodbye to you for good.  Teachers all across the state will be rejoicing in your passing, and will no longer have to live in fear of you taking our jobs for one simple little paperwork mistake.  You know, teachers are suspended and lose their jobs because of you every year, yet they can get arrested for drunk driving, and come right back to work on Monday.  The most celebrated time of the year is the month of May, because we can FINALLY TEACH! For one glorious month, we can teach meaningful, creative, and engaging lessons that educate our kids on events related to the world around them.  We can use technology freely, and read NOVELS. (Gasp!) Sometimes I feel that my students LEARN more in that one month than they do all year….because they LOVE what they are learning about. 

FCAT, as my eulogy comes to a close, I can honestly say that you have taken the joy of learning right out of our children.  Sucked it right out of them like a vacuum.  I have beautiful, bright, intelligent students sitting in my classroom every day.  Every day, they put 110% of themselves into their academic work.  They try as hard as they know how, and yet still…you determine their fate.   One test.  One day.  FCAT, you can feel at ease knowing you will leave a lasting legacy behind.  A legacy that one day, our state education department will realize what it’s doing to the youth of our country.  One day, they will realize it’s time to give the power to the teachers.  It’s time to create a measure of student performance that actually highlights our children’s strengths over time, and that makes them want to take ownership over their performance, and be proud of it. 

I look at it this way, FCAT, maybe you weren’t such a waste after all.  We can look at you as a learning experience.  A sixteen-year experiment that went horribly wrong, but that we can grow from.  A lesson on what’s truly wrong at the heart of education in this country, and how we can move forward so that our youth isn’t a bunch of lazy, brainwashed zombies, but instead, independent, self-advocating, higher-level thinkers.  They’ve had it in them all along, but you have kept it hidden. 

It’s time for you to go, and time for them to finally shine.